soft language

Well, I walked into the coffee shop, ordered me a Joe, Barista asked, “Are you ‘big-boned’?” I said, “Man, I don’t know!” They got words for everything, like “calorically gifted,” Asked for a regular coffee, they looked like I’d been wicked. Oh, they got soft language, don’t you see, Everybody’s special, everybody’s free, No more callin’ it like it is, gotta speak delicately, I guess that’s how it’s gotta be, soft language for you and me. My neighbor's cat’s offended, can’t say “kitty” anymore, Gotta call it “feline friend” when it scratches at the door. Saw a cowboy at the rodeo, riding on a steer, Said, “Don’t call me a cowboy, my hobbies aren’t so clear.” Oh, they got soft language, don’t you see, Everybody’s special, everybody’s free, No more callin’ it like it is, gotta speak delicately, I guess that’s how it’s gotta be, soft language for you and me. Got a list of words that’ll make you shake, Can’t say “stupid,” “dumb,” or “flake.” Used to be “crazy,” “lazy,” too, Now it’s “mentally unique” and “motivation askew.” Went down to the park, saw a sign that made me laugh, “Please respect the birds, don’t call them daft.” Told me tales of cowpokes, who had it rough and tough, But now they got safe spaces ‘cause the world’s too rough. Oh, they got soft language, don’t you see, Everybody’s special, everybody’s free, No more callin’ it like it is, gotta speak delicately, I guess that’s how it’s gotta be, soft language for you and me. So I’ll sit here on my porch, with my old guitar, Singing ‘bout the days when folks knew who they are. If you’re offended, well, take a number, get in line, In this world of soft language, I’ll keep speakin’ my mind. Oh, they got soft language, don’t you see, Everybody’s special, everybody’s free, No more callin’ it like it is, gotta speak delicately, I guess that’s how it’s gotta be, soft language for you and me.