i am

Just like any other person that had people walk out of their lives I don't trust With the issues I have I hope that I find someone that doesn't leave me in the dust So I have to find someone now who can truly love Somebody that's so crushed Cuz every time that I look in the mirror I realize how fucked up I am and it sucks My family now chose to turn there back on me  and just straight leave Don't got many friends because they try to Walk all over me I'm trying not to be so naive So now I don't trust easily And I'm plagued with a plethora of insecurities Which seems to cause me to cling to anybody Get remotely seems to want to be there for me And if you're trying to get up now up in my soul good luck cuz it ain't there And it's fucked up if you fucked up this trust because you'll have a hell of the time trying to repair Either even make it good because it's hard for me to even care And if you try to come back now just know that I ain't there (Chorus) I think about it all the time, (all the time) And everything that shaped my life (shaped my life) And I don't really know what it was (don't really know) And how it feels like I can barely trust I tried to be the man I know I am (that I know I am) It's getting harder day by day (harder day by day) And sometimes I want to let him in (want to let them) But it's still I end up pushing them away (Verse) I'm feeling all alone Being raised up and hated in our family home That and being smacked by my dad Fuck me up real bad As I look at the past I can't just blame my dad because he's a changed man And plus now I blaze my own trail set my own destiny I'm  my own man Now as I made my own hell And Life never went Just as planned Now I wish I could turn back the hands of time Maybe opened up my eyes to realize The difference between those who are really genuine and those who are up in disguise Because it fucked me up my whole life Never even knew what a normal relationship look like And that's why I always seem to find All the bad things that I can finally making life And what's even worse is a curse That I had now shoveled in dirt And all this shit on a daily basis is just wasted Now as a try to face this I pushed away anybody who could even love me even the slightest bit So that's why I got to look at myself in the mirror and know that I'm a fucked up piece of shit (Chorus)