Ah yes... Eli. The so-called “goaltender” they keep talking about. I have seen pillows with more reflexes than this boy.

This is not hockey! This is interpretive ice dancing… performed by a frightened goat wearing goalie pads.

One time, I saw Eli try to make a glove save... he missed so badly, I thought he was swatting a mosquito in slow motion. Bravo!

And when he tries to play the puck behind the net—how do you say?—disaster. I have seen camels with better puck-handling skills... and they don’t even have hands!

But do not worry, Eli. In Wadiya, we would still make you the starting goalie—for the under-5 beginner league. Against blindfolded players. On sand.

Yet, I must admit... he does have one amazing skill: looking good while letting in goals. He is very photogenic in defeat. A true hero... to the other team!

So Eli, keep trying. Someday, you might actually stop a puck. And when that day comes... we will declare it a national holiday in Wadiya!

Long live me. Long live Wadiya. And Eli... maybe try soccer?

Adam Sandler

Ruby gillman 

General AladeenAI

Voice Samples

Generate Speech

More Voices

Adam Sandler

Ruby gillman

kramer

Zoolander

Rafa polinesio

Jessica Bravura (Aphmau)