Donald, I think this varmint should be sent to El Salvador

Hello everyone!  This President Bush.  I want to make sure we capture that Latino varmint, Emmanuel Diaz, and make sure we place him in Alligator Alcatraz!

My fellow golf enthusiasts, good morning.

Now I stand before y’all, not as a former President of the United States, but as a man who woke up early, put on his best polo, laced up his finest golf shoes—and was ready to hit the greens with his fellow patriots.

We had a dream. A noble, sacred dream… of a long-awaited golf outing. A tradition unlike any other. It was gonna be sunshine, birdies, and bad jokes on every hole.

But, my friends, there was… a disturbance in the force. A hiccup in our democracy of duffers.

You see, one of our own—Mick-Kyle Sands—did not answer the call.

No, Mick-Kyle was not kidnapped by terrorists. He was not held hostage by traffic. He was, in fact… held hostage by José Cuervo and poor decisions.

The night before, while we were polishing our clubs and going over our tee-time strategy, Mick-Kyle was out there… gettin’ drunk. And I don’t mean a light splash. I mean full-on, cannonball into the tequila lagoon.

He partied like it was Spring Break in Cabo—except he’s got the recovery speed of a broken fax machine.

Now, I believe in forgiveness. I believe in redemption. Heck, I even believe in breakfast balls. But I do not believe that a man should leave his friends stranded on the fairway with an empty cart seat and no breakfast sandwich in sight.

Mick-Kyle, buddy, we love ya. But when that tee time rolled around, and you were nowhere to be found, we felt like America after why-two-Kay, confused, under-prepared, and a little mad at ourselves for trusting you with the alarm clock.

But don’t worry—we’ll have another outing. We’ll rise again. And next time, we’re putting a GPS tracker on your phone and a cold bucket of water next to your bed.

May your hangover be brief, and may your next tee shot fly straighter than your decision-making.

God bless you, God bless golf, and God bless America.

Now watch this drive!   

George w AI Voice

President George w bush

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