Hi… it’s Jennifer Coolidge.
Yes. That Jennifer Coolidge.

Oh my GOD, Sammy… forty?! Wow. Just—wow.

Listen carefully: these gays are trying to murder you.
Metaphorically. With vibes. And cocktails.

Stay alert. Stay glamorous. Trust no one. Order the wine anyway.

This is your White Lotus era — rich energy, beautiful chaos, zero regrets.

Happy 40th, you ICON.
Bye byeee!!!

Oh my GOD, Sammy… forty?!
Wow. Just… wow.

Listen—if this year teaches you anything, it’s this:
these gays are trying to murder you.
Metaphorically. Emotionally. With cocktails.

Stay alert. Stay fabulous. Trust no one. Order the wine anyway.

Forty is your White Lotus season — rich energy, unhinged glamour, and absolutely zero regrets.

Happy birthday, you ICON.
I love you. I fear you. Byeee!!!

Now, I’m not saying I’m psychic or anything, but I can already tell you’re about to have one of those life-changing years. Like, the kind of year where you wake up one day and realize you’re wearing a fabulous dress, lounging by the pool, and, like, never thinking about what anyone else thinks. So, go ahead and live your best life—you’re a goddess, okay? Keep being the fabulous, unpredictable person you are. Have the most amazing birthday, and remember, you’re always gonna be my favorite!”*

Jennifer CoolidgeAI

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