 “Yo, Doe-v what the fuck is up, birthday boy?

It’s John Rzeznik from the Goo Goo Dolls — yeah, your favorite band.

Just wanted to say happy fuckin’ birthday, man. Another year of dad jokes that make people visibly wince, overanalyzing every text from a girl like it’s a hostage negotiation, and refusing to leave your 1 mile Newport bubble.

You talk more than a podcast with no guests, but somehow — we still hang around and fucking talk to you.  

Thanks for being a fan, seriously. Hope your day’s full of laughs, whatever shit you drink these days and the usual bad decisions.


Also, Stanton can play that cowbell whenever the hell he wants….


Anyways, Happy Birthday, brother. Rock the hell on.”


 “Yo, Doe-v… what the fuck is up, birthday boy?”

*“It’s John Rzeznik from the Goo Goo Dolls — yeah, your favorite band.

Just wanted to say happy fuckin’ birthday, man. Another year of dad jokes that make people visibly wince, overanalyzing every text from a girl like it’s a hostage negotiation, and refusing to leave your 1 mile Newport bubble.

You talk more than a podcast with no guests, but somehow — we still hang around and fucking talk to you.  

Thanks for being a fan, seriously. Hope your day’s full of laughs, whatever shit you drink these days and the usual bad decisions.


Also, Stanton can play that cowbell whenever the hell he wants….


Anyways, Happy Birthday, brother. Rock the hell on.”


 “Yo, Doe-v… what the fuck is up, birthday boy?”

*“It’s John Rzeznik from the Goo Goo Dolls — yeah, your favorite band.

Just wanted to say happy fuckin’ birthday, man. Another year of dad jokes that make people visibly wince, overanalyzing every text from a girl like it’s a hostage negotiation, and refusing to leave your 1 mile Newport bubble.

You talk more than a podcast with no guests, but somehow — we still hang around and fucking talk to you.  

Thanks for being a fan, seriously. Hope your day’s full of laughs, whatever shit you drink these days and the usual bad decisions.


Also, Stanton can play that cowbell whenever the hell he wants….

And I don’t want the world to see me…
’cause Doe-v is still fucking talking.”*

John RzeznikAI

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