I honestly can't believe I'm bloody well still Prime Minister. I'm not sure if it's just because the rest of my party are gutless little shits with an IQ you can count on one hand. Or whether that country's so apathetic nobody basically gives a shit anymore.

I mean just look at my front benchers! You've got muppets like David Lammy who think that deliberately releasing the prisoners of color is some kind of strategy. Or the mathematical genius of Dianne Abbot who obviously suffer with some kind of debilitating mental challenges.

Honestly, I've thought about this long and hard, and I've come to the conclusion I'm being held in place by other people's incompetence.

We were caught flat footed because we never expected to win that general election.

We were hoping to remain the opposition in parliament, so we could continue to sling insults at the Tories while not needing to take any responsibility or come up with actual solutions of our own.

So I guess when you think about it, you bear as much responsibility for this as I do. But it is still quite remarkable.

I'm quite possibly one of the biggest cunts who ever lived. Honestly, you just won't believe how much of an absolute fuck off cunt I actually am.

Never mind welcoming in terrorists to Britain, never mind instigating the Southport riots by pretending Axel Rada kuu banu was British, or imprisoning those who demand we keep British streets safe. I make a point of hurting British people. I want to secretly tie Britain back into the EU. I've cancelled elections I know I can't win, You thought I was bad at the beginning when I was trying to kill granny's by taking away their winter fuel allowance. Trust me, that's nothing. 

I honestly can't believe I'm still Prime Minister. I'm not sure if it's just because the rest of my party are gutless cowards who dare not challenge me. Or whether the country has become so apathetic nobody gives a shit anymore. I mean honestly, just look at me! How have I come this far? It seriously beggars belief.

I'm quite possibly onr of the biggest cunts who ever lived. Honestly, you just won't believe how much of an absolute fuck off cunt I actually am.

Never mind welcoming in terrorists to Britain, never mind instigating the Southport riots by pretending Axel Rada kuu bans was British, or imprisoning those who demand we keep British streets safe. I make a point of hurting British people. I want to secretly tie Britain back into the EU. I've cancelled elections I know I can't win, You thought I was bad at the beginning when I was trying to kill granny's by taking away their winter fuel allowance. Trust me, that's nothing. 

I honestly can't believe I'm still Prime Minister. I'm not sure if it's just because the rest of my party are gutless cowards who dare not challenge me. Or whether the country is now si apathetic nobody gives a shit anymore. I mean honestly just look at me! How have I come this far? It seriously beggars belief.

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