There’s been a lot of discussion around whether to play off the white tees or yellow tees. As usual, the Americans are whining about it. One man in particular, not naming names. All I can say is that if he uses a driver, he misses the ball completely. Team Europe have made their position very clear with six words. It’s not a fucking hen do.

My second pick is a pillar of stability in the golfing kingdom. An exceptionally well-groomed man with swing that’s silkier than my grandmothers lingerie. Last, but most certainly not least, Samuel Booth.

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