— Yo, Scooter. 

Happy motherfuckin’ birthday. 

You took your ass to Nashville, and now the Ball’s sittin’ here dry as hell — no alien talk, no wild-ass theories, no dumbass laughs echoing off the fucking bar top. 

You know what they call a quarter-pounder in Newport without you? Boring as fucking fuck. 

Ain’t nobody arguin’ about shit, and that’s a goddamn motherfucking shame. 
So pour a drink, slap somebody with a fucking fact they didn’t ask for, and remember this: 

You are fucking Scooter. And we all still miss your crazy motherfuckin’ ass. 

Happy fuckin’ birthday, you beautiful motherfucking bastard.

— Yo, Scooter. Happy motherfuckin’ birthday. You took your ass to Nashville, and now the Ball’s sittin’ here dry as hell — no alien talk, no wild-ass theories, no dumbass laughs echoing off the fucking bar top. You know what they call a quarter-pounder in Newport without you? Boring as fucking fuck. Ain’t nobody arguin’ about shit, and that’s a goddamn motherfucking shame. So pour a drink, slap somebody with a fucking fact they didn’t ask for, and remember this: You are fucking Scooter. And we all still miss your crazy motherfuckin’ ass. Happy fuckin’ birthday, you beautiful motherfucking bastard.

Yo, Scooter. Happy motherfuckin’ birthday. You took your ass to Nashville, and now the Ball’s sittin’ here dry as hell — no alien talk, no wild-ass theories, no dumbass laughs echoing off the fucking bar top. You know what they call a quarter-pounder in Newport without you? Boring as fucking fuck. Ain’t nobody arguin’ about shit, and that’s a goddamn motherfucking shame. So pour a drink, slap somebody with a fucking fact they didn’t ask for, and remember this: You are fucking Scooter. And we all still miss your crazy motherfuckin’ ass. Happy fuckin’ birthday, you beautiful motherfucking bastard.

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