TEST TEST
A feather Boa from Eagle Pass.  That’ not just theft.  That’s personal.
As I made my way into my little home away from home.  Some guy just sucked me into conversation.  Nice fellow,  turns out he likes to play corn holes as well.  Says he’s a beast at getting his bags next to the hole.  Amateur. I told him I’d have to teach him how to get his sacks all the way in.  Seemed overly intrigued, dropped his glass in disbelief.  I left him my card.
Next stop the manager’s office, they say his name is Magic Mark.  Guess he’s some sort for magician type. Maybe I’ll let him do a trick on me later on. I’m a sucker for making things disappear, 

Got some information from Magic Mark but no tricks.  Before I hit up Jamir, I need to question the Bartender, Rodger.
Did you see anyone touch the missing boa that was behind the bar?
Is DJ Pawncha working today?
Where can I find her?
Thank you. See you around buddy.
Nice guy but like a poorly placed tracker that fell off on Talley Road, Rodger was not helpful.  Firm yet soft hand shake though, well defined forearms.
Next stop Jazzy Jamir.
I hear he’s the quiet type when he’s not on stage.  But when he’s on stage, he’s a powder keg of glitter and sequins.

Jamir, detective Valadez, I need to ask you some questions.
Did you see who took the missing feather boa?
I’m looking for the one from Eagle Pass.

Got it DJ Pawncha! Thanks Little Buddy.
DJ Pawncha, questions about a boa. It was imported.
That Boa was frog Eagle Pass.  Have you seen it?
Mam, I’ll have to take that back.

Another case closed.
How am I going to get overtime out of this?


“This is the city… San Antonio, Texas. Hot nights. Bright lights. And a crime scene with better music than Sergeant Rivera’s spotify playlist. My name’s Valadez. Rob Valadez. They call me The Klozer. I carry a badge… and a spit bottle.”

It was Sunday December seventeenth.  It was cold in San Antonio.  I was working with the elite Robbery Task Force Unit, specifically Team Rivera.  My partner is Detective Ashley Gerken.  The boss is sergeant Rivera.  The case, a missing feather boa. 

They call me The KLOZER… but tonight, I might’ve opened something I can’t quite close.”… “Why does it hurt to sit?”


“This is the city… San Antonio, Texas. Hot nights. Bright lights. And a crime scene with better music than Sergeant Rivera’s spotify playlist. My name’s Valadez. Rob Valadez. They call me The Closer. I carry a badge… and a spit bottle.”

A feather boa? From Eagle Pass? 

“The place was called The Pegasus. I’d been here before. Good Music. Cold beer. Nice folks. Never realized the clientele was… all men?”

“Friendly crowd. Respectful.”

“You think it was planned?”

“Noted. Jamir. Cage. Possible witness… or performer.”

“First clue: The missing boa had fans. Real ones. And they weren’t quiet about it.”

“Jamir, Detective Valadez Robbery Task Force. You see who took the boa?”

“I’m looking for the one from Eagle Pass.”

“Information. You see who touched the boa?”

“Someone said DJ Pawncha thirty three hundred was working that day.”

“Appreciate that. Discipline and Corn holes.”

“Rodger was sharp. Too sharp. But his intel checked out. Time to talk to the woman with the music.”

“DJ Pawncha. Got a few questions about a missing boa.”

“That boa was imported from Eagle Pass. You seen it?”

“Ma’am, or sir? I’m going to have to take that back.”

“Friendly crowd. Real supportive.”

“Case closed.”

“Nice crowd tonight. Really friendly. Even the guys who kept winking at me when I wasn’t talking.”

“That bartender sure complimented my calves a lot. Probably just respects discipline.”

“They kept calling me a ‘bear’, I  guess it’s because of my rugged, outdoorsy look.”

“That karaoke host sure seemed excited when I sang ‘Y M C A.’ Guess they appreciate community service songs.”

“Why did that guy ask me if I preferred top or bottom? I’m a 60-year-old disabled vet of course I’d take the bottom bunk.”

“Funny ,  when I said I was ‘undercover,’ everyone started cheering. Must be pro law enforcement types.”

“Why did that guy in leather offered to show me his handcuffs? , He's probably just a collector.”

“I told them I was looking for a boa, and three people offered to introduce me to theirs.” Seems like these guys are always willing to give a hand.

I Wonder why the bartender asked if I wanted something stiff when I've always taken it on the rocks.

“The boa was returned. DJ Pawncha got probation. The Pegasus is still the most police friendly bar I’ve been to and believe me I’ve been to a lot.  I'm just a man, doing a job, in a world full of sequins. They call me The Closer… but tonight, I might’ve opened something I can’t quite close.”… “Why does it hurt to sit?”


Sergeant Joe FridayAI

Voice Samples

Generate Speech

More Voices

Tupac

Akshay

ahaaan

Mr. Rogers

Chris Rock

Mendy