Ah yes... Eli. The so-called “goaltender” they keep talking about. I have seen pillows with more reflexes than this boy.

This is not hockey! This is interpretive ice dancing… performed by a frightened goat wearing goalie pads.

One time, I saw Eli try to make a glove save... he missed so badly, I thought he was swatting a mosquito in slow motion. Bravo!

And when he tries to play the puck behind the net—how do you say?—disaster. I have seen camels with better puck-handling skills... and they don’t even have hands!

But do not worry, Eli. In Wadiya, we would still make you the starting goalie—for the under-5 beginner league. Against blindfolded players. On sand.

Yet, I must admit... he does have one amazing skill: looking good while letting in goals. He is very photogenic in defeat. A true hero... to the other team!

So Eli, keep trying. Someday, you might actually stop a puck. And when that day comes... we will declare it a national holiday in Wadiya!

Long live me. Long live Wadiya. And Eli... maybe try soccer?

To the glorious men, Ivan Miller! I know that you watched my movie, so On this historic occasion, I have declared a National Holiday, renamed three mountains in your honor, and here it goes birthday wish from Natalia, that she send to me to read to you on camera. just wanna say: it's your day, so don't feel like you have to be anyone, but yourself. The world is loud and sometimes overwhelming. But you've got this strength inside you that's really something special. Take your time, do what feels right and remember it's okay to be different, to be a little weird, to just be you. These woman so sentimental, but I’ll read ahead. 

So here is another year begins: to be incredible man, who you actually is, may this year be chill, meaningful and full of moments, that make you smile. 

I wish you to learn how to breathe deeper and slow down. Just to feel what this life you want to live like. Here's new path, warm hugs, adventures that awaits you along the way. 

She says: Wherever you go, I am endlessly grateful to share this life with you. Thank you for being this kind of person, keep your heartbeat going in a sound of your dreams. 

My beloved man, I will be there for you, any time, let's get your New Year started. 

Just a reminder: that happiness isn't in the rush, but in the morning walks with a dog, comfort home and in peace. 

And remember: I am so so proud of the man you are, inspiring me every single day. May this year bring you ease, the calm, the happiness you deeply deserve. With all my heart, love you and Happy Birthday!

Bill Gates

Kevin Rudd

The dictator AI Voice

The Dictator

Examples

Explore more voices

Bill Gates

Kevin Rudd

Putin

Shital

Amrish

Amrish New