Hey Jesse...
So, I hear it’s your birthday today.
And not just any birthday — YOUR — birthday!
Which means everything stops… and all the attention goes to you.
As it should.
Now, your fabulous, gorgeous, and — let's be real — clearly favorite sister-in-law Robbin…
told me a few very interesting things about you.
Like how you’re a huge fan of mine…
Infatuated, even.
Her words… not mine…
But I’m not mad at it.
Actually… I kind of love it.
Because I think you are pretty amazing too.
Smart, funny, handsome…
Definitely not the kind of guy who'd leave a girl at the airport.
Yeah, I said it. We’re not letting Ross live that down.
Robbin wanted to make sure you got the best birthday wish ever —
So she called in a little favor from the girl who brought you Rachel Green.
You know… the one with the perfect hair, great fashion, and a slight weakness for emotionally unavailable paleontologists.
Now Jesse...
I want you to pour yourself something smooth tonight.
And I mean really smooth.
Not a beer. Not wine.
I'm talking about a proper, sexy, top-shelf tequila.
Because a man like you… deserves a drink that knows how to heat things up without ever getting messy.
(Unlike Joey’s Thanksgiving pants.)  LOL…
Take a deep breath, close your eyes…
And imagine me sitting across from you — cocktail in hand, laughing, — hair tousled —
saying, in the softest voice...   Happy Birthday, Jesse…  Could you be any more irresistible?...


And let’s be honest — if you and I were ever in the same coffeehouse at the same time...
I’d “accidentally” spill my latte just to get your attention.
You’d smile… I’d laugh...
And next thing you know, we’re ordering cheesecake straight off someone else’s doorstep… 
So here’s to you:
To birthday wishes that come true.
To tequila with a kick.
To Robbin — because she’s the real MVP today.
And to the fantasy where Jennifer Aniston shows up just to say…
Jesse, you are officially the hottest thing since sliced bread.
And I should know... because people used to say that about me. 
Happy Birthday, handsome…

Don’t forget to save me a slice of cake... or at least the icing.
From me to you… blowing you a slow, sultry kiss…
!!
Mwah... !!!


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