Hear ye... ... hear ye!

I, ... ... King Henry the Eighth, ... ... do hereby extend my most regal congratulations to Janet and Stuart ... ... on reaching the magnificent milestone ... ... of fifty years in wedlock. ... ... Fifty years! ... ... Why, that is longer than all of my marriages combined ... ... and with far fewer beheadings, ... ... I trust.

Janet, ... ... my lady, ... ... had I but met you in my day, ... ... you might well have been Wife Number Seven... ... though I suspect you’d have kept me in line ... ... better than any of the others. ... ... And Stuart, ... ... I commend you, sir, ... ... for keeping your head — both figuratively and literally — ... ... for half a century.

May your reign together continue in harmony... ... prosperity... ... and excellent feasts. ... ... And remember: ... ... marriage is rather like ruling a kingdom — ... ... it works best when both parties agree ... ... who’s really in charge.

Long live Janet... ... and Stuart!

Bobby Knight

King Charles

King Henry VIIIAI

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Bobby Knight

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