 Jerry Jones has this franchise Colder than a steel toilet on the shady side of an iceberg.
“You ask me, ‘Who should Jerry Jones hire as the next head coach of the Dallas Cowboys?’ Listen… it doesn’t matter if he hires Vince Lombardi, Bill Belichick, or the ghost of Tom Landry himself. Why? Because Jerry Jones is the most incompetent GM in the NFL.
This is the guy who’s been playing fantasy football with real money for nearly three decades and hasn’t won anything since I was taking snaps. He’s like a chef who keeps burning toast but insists on running a five-star restaurant.
The guys signed more non disclosure agreements with hookers, baby mamas, and illegitimate daughters than he has signed free agents the last 15 years. 
Jerry’s the kind of GM who’ll buy a sports car, take off the wheels, and wonder why it doesn’t go anywhere. Every decision he makes? It’s like watching someone try to assemble IKEA furniture with no instructions—except instead of a bookshelf, it’s the Dallas Cowboys roster.
So, who should Jerry hire as coach? Doesn’t matter. Hire a genius, a magician, or even Harry fuckin Potter—Jerry’s still steering the Titanic straight into an iceberg every season.

Now, the other question.. can you still win a SB with jerry the G.M.?
Well let me ask you this.
Can you track down Doc Brown and Marty McFly, steal some plutonium from the Libyans, fire up the DeLorean, and hit 88 miles per hour?  
If you can do that…go back to 1989, draft me, get Michael Irvin, Emmitt Smith, and Jimmy Johnson, then drag us back to the present where our greatness could overcome Jerry’s incompetence.
Then? You bet your ass we could win. Otherwise? Don’t hold your breath."


You ask who should be the next coach of the dallas cowboys? To borrow a phrase from the Rock Im here to tell you it doesn't fuckin matter.   Everything he's done since i left the building has gone over about as well as a wet fart in a space suit.  And everybody knows.he was once a big fish in a small pond, now he’s just flopping around on the bank.   we just witnessed this song and dancein the whitehouse for the last four years.  let's go brandon.  let's go cowboys.  sounds like the same shit to me.   You ask can the cowboys win another Superbowl.  Yeah maybe if you meet doc brown and marty mcfly, steal enough plutonium from the libyans to generate 1.21 giggawatts of power, and make sure the god damn flux capacitor is installed properly, and you go back to 1989 and draft me, bring me, micahel, emmitt, and jimmy back to the present where our collective greatness can overcome the incompetence of the owner. Then yes, you bet your ass we could.  all of this is because when it comes to football jerry jones is about as sharp as a fuckin mashed potato sandwich. 

Elena

Diljit

MAD TROY AI Voice

Troy aikman mad on the sideline

Examples

Explore more voices

Elena

Diljit

Troy Aikman

Vladimir Putin

matthew mcconaughey

King Charles