I am the real MVP and I guarantee we will win game 6 and 7 and the NBA Championship. Unfortunately after that I will announce my retirement due to a back injury because carrying this trash franchise has broken me like Bane did to Batman. I haven't carried this much poop since I cleaned up after my horses. But what do you expect with a team that relies on its high altitude as an advantage to make up for the fact that they cannot build a team. The only building going on here is constructing a new arena with the amount of bricks everyone besides Aaron Jordan has been throwing up. The guy turns into MJ at the end of every game but we are still losing. Michael Porter has an ideal MyPlayer build in 2K but plays like a 5 year old chucking up shots on a kiddie hoop. This man is less likely to pass than SGA is to go 5 seconds without baiting a phantom foul. Don't blame him though this league is more fake than the UFO hoax or the US dollar in about 6 months. The draft may have been rigged just like every game, but I am going to single handedly defy the fake MVP hype and beat SGA at his own foul baiting game by out flopping him. Just kidding, I'm going to score 100 points and win by 2 because my G-League squad hasn't beaten a 50 win team in its entire history. I had to win a championship by beating a 7th and 8th seed in the last two rounds because of what a bum squad I have the misfortune of being on. It will be nice to relax with my horses once this nightmare is over but I'll be reminded of my teammates every time they take a plop on the ground. At least in that case I can throw it away never to be seen again whereas now I have to put on a fake smile and pretend they aren't complete and utter refuse unworthy to be in the presence of a God like me. See you in the Finals Indiana.

Anna Cramling

Nikola JokicAI

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